little baby Mayhew is on the way - due date is Saturday.... we are (not so) patiently waiting. For now, we are waiting for God and the baby to choose his birthday!
I haven't blogged in a while...
Here is what is in my thought process for the arrival of this child:
- I am nervous about the birth. So many unknowns
- I am also excited about seeing his little face
- I am nervous about being responsible for his life
- Ronnie and I sometimes walk by his room and wonder why we have it all decorated
- We sometimes feel overwhelmed already!
- The miracle of the tiny feet that kick my ribs, jar my spine, and punch my kidneys regularly is already amazing to me.
- Can this really be my child?
And here is what I want Little J to know:
Precious son of mine,
You are a treasure. The day your dad and I found out you were on the way was a surprise. You see, you already have a sibling in heaven. We knew we wanted you, but we weren't sure if it was time yet. We had been praying that we would be able to meet you one day - but we were also praying that you would not come until it was the right time.
I didn't even tell dad I was going to take the test that Sunday morning. So, he was surprised when I woke him up with "Ummm... I think there are two lines....." He responded with "huh?" I said "I think I am pregnant - come look!"
We both stared and stared at that little test waiting for more confirmation - but it was still fuzzy.
We went to church. I remember singing a song that morning that had been sung the Sunday after we found out our last child was not going to live. The line that rung in my head was "You give and Take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." I knew immediately, even though the line was fuzzy at home on the test, that you were the gift. I also know that we would consistently say blessed be your name.
We told all of your grandparents that week, I called and told Jenifer and Brantley, and then, I had to wait to talk to JonJon. He was in Afghanistan.
We were so excited, we could barely wait to tell the world!
We saw you first on an ultrasound in November. You were jumping around. I really think you were excited to be seen... Your dad and I both cried to see you moving so much!
It was February that we found out you were a boy. I really think I knew the whole time. We had not even chosen a girl name. We were so excited to hear the ultrasound tech say "It's a boy!" We saw your face for the first time that day. You have already changed a lot - but I loved you immediately.
Your last two ultrasounds have been fun for us as we could see portions of your face. You keep part of it a secret with your arms. The priceless part to me, is that you are already making motions with your hands that are like pictures of your dad when he was a baby. You prop your right hand just above your eye, as if you are thinking.
The nurses and doctors tell us each time that you will be slowing down your movements as you get ready to be born... So far, you haven't slowed down one bit!
Here we are, about 5 days from your due date. I don't know what date you will choose to be your birthday. Many people are pulling for July 4. I think that would be nice, but I am really not going to be picky about this decision. I want you to be as healthy as possible. I know that there will even be days when I miss your little kicks to my ribs. I do look forward to seeing your face. and watching your motions. You consistently have one leg that is sticking out to my right side. It looks funny to me. I am sure you will be propping that leg up on everything you can see when you get out.
Dad and I are so ready to meet you. We are so excited to have you as the next part of our family. We are a little nervous about being parents - so be patient with us. We haven't done this before. We know that you are our gift, our treasure, and we promise to do everything we can to be sure you know that you are loved deeply, by us and by your Creator. We want you to know that God loves you even more than you will ever understand. He gave you to us to take care of for a while. We promise to do our best.
Love,
mom.
Showing posts with label baby Mayhew #2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby Mayhew #2. Show all posts
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
jon-jon is home - and predictions
well - my little brother made it back safely for his two weeks "break" from the sandbox... Mom has a post and pics from meeting him in the airport.
We will hopefully get some time to visit with him before he heads back over for the final months of this deployment.
In other places - I am now 15 weeks pregnant. Last trip to the Dr. had a heartbeat of 150. The heartbeat wives tale says its a girl - the chinese calendar says its a girl - all those silly quizzes I have taken online say its a girl...
However, Ronnie is of course a first (and only) born son.... his dad is a first born son.... his grandad was one of a couple of sons.... I am not sure who the oldest in that clan is - but I know the first born was a son... and all of those "sons" (his grandfather's brothers) have had first born sons. So.... if genetics tell us more than the chinese calendar - and heartbeats - then it should be a boy.
My aunt says its a boy - others that have guessed have said its a boy...
I always thought that it would have been awesome to have a big brother - so, I figured I should have a boy first - - which is probably the influence in my head that it is probably a boy.
My sister says its a girl.... I think she was just arguing with my aunt. :)
The fun part is that all the guessing will (hopefully) be over on Feb. 8!! We are hoping baby mayhew participates and allows us the opportunity to know the answer to that question... boy or girl?
Anyone out there got a fool-proof way to guess boy or girl?
We will hopefully get some time to visit with him before he heads back over for the final months of this deployment.
In other places - I am now 15 weeks pregnant. Last trip to the Dr. had a heartbeat of 150. The heartbeat wives tale says its a girl - the chinese calendar says its a girl - all those silly quizzes I have taken online say its a girl...
However, Ronnie is of course a first (and only) born son.... his dad is a first born son.... his grandad was one of a couple of sons.... I am not sure who the oldest in that clan is - but I know the first born was a son... and all of those "sons" (his grandfather's brothers) have had first born sons. So.... if genetics tell us more than the chinese calendar - and heartbeats - then it should be a boy.
My aunt says its a boy - others that have guessed have said its a boy...
I always thought that it would have been awesome to have a big brother - so, I figured I should have a boy first - - which is probably the influence in my head that it is probably a boy.
My sister says its a girl.... I think she was just arguing with my aunt. :)
The fun part is that all the guessing will (hopefully) be over on Feb. 8!! We are hoping baby mayhew participates and allows us the opportunity to know the answer to that question... boy or girl?
Anyone out there got a fool-proof way to guess boy or girl?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Uncontrolled emotions from an "11 week" pregnant woman
11 weeks and 4 days to be exact.
We are amazingly excited about the current pregnancy. Last Monday - Dec 7, we went to the Doc and were able to see a moving dancing little baby in there and hear a strong heartbeat of 164! It was absolutely amazing and one of THOSE moments of life. I have had so many of them but this one trumps just about all of them. You know, that moment when everything seems to stand still and fly by at the same time... This moment ranked up there with the day Ronnie proposed to me, that moment when I realized what was happening and saw the ring for the first time.... Also, that awkward but amazing wedding moment, while standing in front of the unity candle and grinning at my man knowing that our lives would never be the same, but they would be better because we were now a family.
This moment ranked right there with those two!!!
The excitement of seeing my child - our child moving around finally released some of the emotions that I believe I had been holding for fear of a repeat of last time. For, you see, last time, around 10 weeks - we found out for sure that our little one was not alive. Last time in that room with the ultrasound tech, we realized that the darkest tragedy of our lives, the loss of a child, was a reality for us. It had been week 8 that we found that there might be a reason to ask more questions... week 9 came the "you need to be prepared that there could be a problem" and week 10 carried the weight of "there is no blood flowing to the baby."
Which is where I come to today....
The emotions that are running in my head today are almost overwhelming... June 16 is a day that will echo in my head forever - It is the day the miscarriage happened. Approximately 11 weeks and 4 days into the pregnancy - The excruciating emotional pain accompanied with the unbelievable physical pain - that even Vicodin couldn't hide - (aside from the fact that Ronnie had kidney stones on the same day and we spent a good part of the day in the waiting room of the ER) It hurt.... more than anything I have ever felt. In more ways that I ever thought I could feel pain. My heart hurt.
Today is the 6 month mark of that horrible day. December 16th. Today is also 14 days, two weeks, away from the due date of our precious first child. For that my heart kinda aches too. What would he or she have looked like? What would his/her personality have been like? Would he or she be more of an musical artist like mom? or a thinking lawyer like dad? or neither?
Today is also a day of hope - for now, around July 3 - we WILL have a precious addition to our small family. Today, on this day of week 11 day 4 - I look at the tiny images of the alien looking ultrasound that I carry on my blackberry and tear up with the hope of July 3.... (I do realize that is an estimated date.... I know... I get it)
So, this emotional, hormonal, nauseaus, sometimes puking, always sleepy, mom is just kinda holding it all together today remembering that first positive test.... the excitement of the first announcements... the first pregnancy that will always be my first child.... the apprehension of this "first positive" test... the announcements that happened via phone this time... the hesitation of having the ultrasounds done... and the fears every time I go 15 minutes without SOME symptom... They say (whoever they are) that once you see a heartbeat after 8 weeks, they chances of miscarriage drop to below 1% - - I am not sure about all that... but I sure am hopeful that "they" are right.
So, here we go - continually praying for our little "roo" and the remaining 29ish weeks until we meet face to face!! - Thanks for the name Samantha :)
We are amazingly excited about the current pregnancy. Last Monday - Dec 7, we went to the Doc and were able to see a moving dancing little baby in there and hear a strong heartbeat of 164! It was absolutely amazing and one of THOSE moments of life. I have had so many of them but this one trumps just about all of them. You know, that moment when everything seems to stand still and fly by at the same time... This moment ranked up there with the day Ronnie proposed to me, that moment when I realized what was happening and saw the ring for the first time.... Also, that awkward but amazing wedding moment, while standing in front of the unity candle and grinning at my man knowing that our lives would never be the same, but they would be better because we were now a family.
This moment ranked right there with those two!!!
The excitement of seeing my child - our child moving around finally released some of the emotions that I believe I had been holding for fear of a repeat of last time. For, you see, last time, around 10 weeks - we found out for sure that our little one was not alive. Last time in that room with the ultrasound tech, we realized that the darkest tragedy of our lives, the loss of a child, was a reality for us. It had been week 8 that we found that there might be a reason to ask more questions... week 9 came the "you need to be prepared that there could be a problem" and week 10 carried the weight of "there is no blood flowing to the baby."
Which is where I come to today....
The emotions that are running in my head today are almost overwhelming... June 16 is a day that will echo in my head forever - It is the day the miscarriage happened. Approximately 11 weeks and 4 days into the pregnancy - The excruciating emotional pain accompanied with the unbelievable physical pain - that even Vicodin couldn't hide - (aside from the fact that Ronnie had kidney stones on the same day and we spent a good part of the day in the waiting room of the ER) It hurt.... more than anything I have ever felt. In more ways that I ever thought I could feel pain. My heart hurt.
Today is the 6 month mark of that horrible day. December 16th. Today is also 14 days, two weeks, away from the due date of our precious first child. For that my heart kinda aches too. What would he or she have looked like? What would his/her personality have been like? Would he or she be more of an musical artist like mom? or a thinking lawyer like dad? or neither?
Today is also a day of hope - for now, around July 3 - we WILL have a precious addition to our small family. Today, on this day of week 11 day 4 - I look at the tiny images of the alien looking ultrasound that I carry on my blackberry and tear up with the hope of July 3.... (I do realize that is an estimated date.... I know... I get it)
So, this emotional, hormonal, nauseaus, sometimes puking, always sleepy, mom is just kinda holding it all together today remembering that first positive test.... the excitement of the first announcements... the first pregnancy that will always be my first child.... the apprehension of this "first positive" test... the announcements that happened via phone this time... the hesitation of having the ultrasounds done... and the fears every time I go 15 minutes without SOME symptom... They say (whoever they are) that once you see a heartbeat after 8 weeks, they chances of miscarriage drop to below 1% - - I am not sure about all that... but I sure am hopeful that "they" are right.
So, here we go - continually praying for our little "roo" and the remaining 29ish weeks until we meet face to face!! - Thanks for the name Samantha :)
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Moments before I sleep - again
Well, the election is over - and what a trip it was this year. I think I say that every year.
Last night was a night to remember though - you know "those" nights. I speak of them often I guess.... Sometimes I feel like I live in a movie, or at least in someone else's life - because sometimes it feels like things like this shouldn't happen to normal people. You know, people like me.
Anyway, the short version of the story is that the Governor-elect of Virginia invited his staff to his personal home (he hasn't moved to the mansion yet...) for a victory celebration. So, last night, Ronnie and I spent about 3 hours in their HOME! The whole thing was pretty surreal, I have to admit. And in some ways never quite felt like it was actually happening. At the same time, it was nice to be able to kinda relax with the people that were always on those annoying 9:30pm conference calls and not have to be reporting numbers and such. We could laugh about those silly voters on the other end of the phone calls, and brag on our own amazing volunteers! What a year it was to be involved in Virginia politics.
The other thing that I loved about last night was this: I now honestly know that we did the right thing in electing the man that we worked so hard to elect. He is truly a family man. There were stories from those close to him of how it didn't matter what he was doing, if his family called his cell phone - everything stopped. There were Bible verses hanging on the walls of the house - in prominent positions - not hidden away. The family laughed with each other, and with us. They are genuine, and real. We have elected a good family. Now, I will continue to pray for him as he begins to govern this state.
Ok, on to the non-political - and somewhat more exciting part of the reason I need to sleep right now. For those that are not on Facebook, and I haven't talked to in person lately - you remember that about 4 months ago we went through the agony of a miscarriage.
I am excited to inform you that we are expecting again. I am just past the 6 week mark - and right at the point at which my baby quit growing last time. This week, while amazing and full of excitement in our lives, has an underlying sensitivity in my mind. What I mean is, every twitch, pain, cramp - - makes my mind race with the "what-ifs." I try to keep trusting, and keep moving forward....
Basically we are kinda trapped in this mode - we are so unbelievable excited about the new life growing inside of me.... and we are so unfortunately nervous about "last time" moments. I want to be nothing but excited... but I hesitate to register for the "free diaper samples" because I just feel the need to wait.
We discussed keeping everything a secret longer this time... but our excitement wouldn't let us. I really struggle with keeping that kind of joy quiet! We also realized that it was only through Christ, and the prayers of our friends that we made it through last time... and if, just if, something happened again - we would need that support even more.
I don't want to dwell on the fears though. We are already racing with the exciting moments. The planning, the waiting, the hoping... I am queasy - and really have to sleep a TON! Which is great... grow little child of mine - - just grow....
- speaking of that - I do believe it is nap time :)
Last night was a night to remember though - you know "those" nights. I speak of them often I guess.... Sometimes I feel like I live in a movie, or at least in someone else's life - because sometimes it feels like things like this shouldn't happen to normal people. You know, people like me.
Anyway, the short version of the story is that the Governor-elect of Virginia invited his staff to his personal home (he hasn't moved to the mansion yet...) for a victory celebration. So, last night, Ronnie and I spent about 3 hours in their HOME! The whole thing was pretty surreal, I have to admit. And in some ways never quite felt like it was actually happening. At the same time, it was nice to be able to kinda relax with the people that were always on those annoying 9:30pm conference calls and not have to be reporting numbers and such. We could laugh about those silly voters on the other end of the phone calls, and brag on our own amazing volunteers! What a year it was to be involved in Virginia politics.
The other thing that I loved about last night was this: I now honestly know that we did the right thing in electing the man that we worked so hard to elect. He is truly a family man. There were stories from those close to him of how it didn't matter what he was doing, if his family called his cell phone - everything stopped. There were Bible verses hanging on the walls of the house - in prominent positions - not hidden away. The family laughed with each other, and with us. They are genuine, and real. We have elected a good family. Now, I will continue to pray for him as he begins to govern this state.
Ok, on to the non-political - and somewhat more exciting part of the reason I need to sleep right now. For those that are not on Facebook, and I haven't talked to in person lately - you remember that about 4 months ago we went through the agony of a miscarriage.
I am excited to inform you that we are expecting again. I am just past the 6 week mark - and right at the point at which my baby quit growing last time. This week, while amazing and full of excitement in our lives, has an underlying sensitivity in my mind. What I mean is, every twitch, pain, cramp - - makes my mind race with the "what-ifs." I try to keep trusting, and keep moving forward....
Basically we are kinda trapped in this mode - we are so unbelievable excited about the new life growing inside of me.... and we are so unfortunately nervous about "last time" moments. I want to be nothing but excited... but I hesitate to register for the "free diaper samples" because I just feel the need to wait.
We discussed keeping everything a secret longer this time... but our excitement wouldn't let us. I really struggle with keeping that kind of joy quiet! We also realized that it was only through Christ, and the prayers of our friends that we made it through last time... and if, just if, something happened again - we would need that support even more.
I don't want to dwell on the fears though. We are already racing with the exciting moments. The planning, the waiting, the hoping... I am queasy - and really have to sleep a TON! Which is great... grow little child of mine - - just grow....
- speaking of that - I do believe it is nap time :)
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