What movie is that from?
Anyway - as stated by my dear movie companion, and fellow chocolate lover - Willy Wonka - "too much time, too little to do" seems to be my theme these days. I mean, I feel like my list is long... laundry, syllabus writing, questions to create for this online music course, dishes, basic house maintenance, my commitment to Scripture memory and healthy living... yet, due to the fact that all of these have this "whenever" basis, I generally feel like I am behind in all of them.
It all falls back to discipline. My goal for the year. I have none when I am given freedom.
When I had a daily job, and requirements and deadlines, I get more done. When I have free time - I end up at the end of the day wondering why I didn't get my stuff done.
I don't want to waste my day. I don't set out for that to happen. It just seems to happen.
So, I am working on finding a way to plan my days. Even those days that seem to have no plan. I have got to get a schedule going. It can have some flexibility - but it must be planned.
So, having said that - - this must be a short blog. For I have a schedule to come up with!
P.S. mom blogged about her Hospital visit this weekend... and her memory verse and the reason behind it
What a whirlwind....
Showing posts with label thought for the day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thought for the day. Show all posts
Monday, January 19, 2009
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Me and Maria
So, today on the "Today" show - Maria Shriver (wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger) is on and is discussing her new book "Just who will you be?" the point is that when Arnold was elected as Gov, she couldn't be a journalist anymore... etc. etc. I am not going to go into any detail, only to say that her book was the EXACT SAME THING I taught to high school girls last week!!!!!
My point was being more interested in WHO you are than WHAT you become... WHO you are doesn't change.... WHAT you do will change many times throughout... etc. etc.
So, there ya go, if I were famous, I could have written the book, gotten the millions, and been on the Today show this morning... I have been teaching the same thing for a while now and have never read her book!!!
Me and Maria - we are just best friends like that - I just wish she knew that.
(disclaimer - I am not saying that I agree or disagree with anything written in this book, or any other part of her life - - I'm just saying I wish I had published it first:))
My point was being more interested in WHO you are than WHAT you become... WHO you are doesn't change.... WHAT you do will change many times throughout... etc. etc.
So, there ya go, if I were famous, I could have written the book, gotten the millions, and been on the Today show this morning... I have been teaching the same thing for a while now and have never read her book!!!
Me and Maria - we are just best friends like that - I just wish she knew that.
(disclaimer - I am not saying that I agree or disagree with anything written in this book, or any other part of her life - - I'm just saying I wish I had published it first:))
Friday, March 28, 2008
Post 99
Well, here is post 99 - I think that means my next post has to be the 100 things... 100 things about me that you really don't wnt to know... i am not sure that there are 100 things that I haven't already shared - But i will try with all my might.
Tonight is my first Tupperware party... kinda nervous, kinda excited, kinda ready to just be GOING! Nicole is my host - and she has been wonderful so far.. Thanks girl! She sells stuff too, so she has already gone thru this "first party" junk... (she doesn't sell Tupperware tho... something else)
Before I get into the "meat" of my post - I encourage you to go here and read a story of how a guy really took Jesus serious in his "Good Samaritan" parable... EVEN in 2008, EVEN in NY, EVEN in the Bronx... Makes me think.
Pray for me and my family - we are trying to keep our head out of the land of "what if" as my mom alluded to here. Its been a few days since we heard anything from Jon... so close to the end, it just weighs a lot on our shoulders right now. Honestly, it is one of those things that we should be sharing the load with our Savior, and I know He wants to help carry my load - its just hard to actually share the weight.
Someone asked me the other day what the impact of having my brother in Iraq has been on me. The truthful answer is that any words I try to put to it, really does not do it justice. It has impacted every area of my life. On the negative side, the tears have flowed more freely, especially when songs come on that refer to kids playing and such... mainly because those are some of the memories I treasure most of my family. It has impacted my marriage. My husband has dealt with me having more homesickness than I have ever had before because of my brother. There is a feeling that I need to be there to help hold up my parents through this - which has made these last months even longer. On the positive side - my prayer life is probably stronger now - if for no other reason, anytime I wake up at night, or have a moment when my brain quits thinking about anything else, I pray for the physical, emotional, and spiritual protection of my brother.
That paragraph can give you a small picture of the emotions that are rampant in my heart. I cannot put in words the total impact on my life. I respect my brother, and see him as a hero for us, and for you. I am proud of him - I love him - I miss him.
It is heavy. I am trying to "cast my cares" - and give Him some of my burden because "His burden is light." I am trying to keep taking steps forward... I am trying to be excited about Tupperware. But sometimes its just heavy. I can't explain why now more than the last few days. but it is.
Anyway - sorry if this was a darker post than what you were hoping for... We do appreciate your prayers for the safety of my brother.
Look for my "100 things" soon.
Tonight is my first Tupperware party... kinda nervous, kinda excited, kinda ready to just be GOING! Nicole is my host - and she has been wonderful so far.. Thanks girl! She sells stuff too, so she has already gone thru this "first party" junk... (she doesn't sell Tupperware tho... something else)
Before I get into the "meat" of my post - I encourage you to go here and read a story of how a guy really took Jesus serious in his "Good Samaritan" parable... EVEN in 2008, EVEN in NY, EVEN in the Bronx... Makes me think.
Pray for me and my family - we are trying to keep our head out of the land of "what if" as my mom alluded to here. Its been a few days since we heard anything from Jon... so close to the end, it just weighs a lot on our shoulders right now. Honestly, it is one of those things that we should be sharing the load with our Savior, and I know He wants to help carry my load - its just hard to actually share the weight.
Someone asked me the other day what the impact of having my brother in Iraq has been on me. The truthful answer is that any words I try to put to it, really does not do it justice. It has impacted every area of my life. On the negative side, the tears have flowed more freely, especially when songs come on that refer to kids playing and such... mainly because those are some of the memories I treasure most of my family. It has impacted my marriage. My husband has dealt with me having more homesickness than I have ever had before because of my brother. There is a feeling that I need to be there to help hold up my parents through this - which has made these last months even longer. On the positive side - my prayer life is probably stronger now - if for no other reason, anytime I wake up at night, or have a moment when my brain quits thinking about anything else, I pray for the physical, emotional, and spiritual protection of my brother.
That paragraph can give you a small picture of the emotions that are rampant in my heart. I cannot put in words the total impact on my life. I respect my brother, and see him as a hero for us, and for you. I am proud of him - I love him - I miss him.
It is heavy. I am trying to "cast my cares" - and give Him some of my burden because "His burden is light." I am trying to keep taking steps forward... I am trying to be excited about Tupperware. But sometimes its just heavy. I can't explain why now more than the last few days. but it is.
Anyway - sorry if this was a darker post than what you were hoping for... We do appreciate your prayers for the safety of my brother.
Look for my "100 things" soon.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
It's Windy
Ok, So this blog could be a mess, it has been rumbling around in my head for about a week now, and that usually means trouble, when I decided to get it all written out it just kinda sludges out... so bear with me.
It's windy outside in southern VA today. VERY windy! The trees and bushes are leaning sideways, my windows are rattling at times. The wind is so strong that once, while standing in the garden section at Lowes today, I thought it was going to knock me over!
As I watch the wind I wonder how deep the roots have to be in order to hold the trees and bushes in the ground. I mean, I know that is the only thing stopping them from flying around my yard... but how deep are they? How deep is "deep enough" for the roots to hold on when the tough winds come? Why do some grow deeper than others? Some grow deeper because they are bigger, and need more roots. But there are times that two bushes of the same kind will grow different depths in their root system. Sometimes things, rocks, concrete, bad dirt, will get in the way of the roots, and therefore will mess up the roots system. As a planter (I am not really, but let's just pretend) I think if I knew that the root system in one location was bad, I would not plant another tree in that area. I would go to good ground and plant my tree there. Wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't want to waste the one little tree that you gave good money for right?
The short version of my application here is that sometimes I think as Christians we start growing roots, but then get distracted by the things around us and just decide "our roots are deep enough." But do we know what depth that our roots will need to be when the winds come? Sometimes, the winds will be only strong enough to make us sway, but sometimes, those tornado style winds will come and ONLY our root system - buried in the Word of God - will be left holding us to the only stability that we have... The Rock of our Salvation. It is then, that we will realize the true depth of our root system. Only then will we know for sure that we went deep enough.
But what about the times that things get in the way of our growth. Sometimes it is choices we make, sometimes it is circumstances out of our control. But regardless, things happen - bad dirt - rocks - other roots - mess up our growth. Some times it is our fault.... Sometimes we see that someone else is buried in bad dirt, and instead of going another direction with our own life, we decide to plant right down beside them. I don't mean we go over to help them get more roots... but we mix our roots right in the middle. THIS is the thing that has been burning in my head for a week.
I have some friends. More than one example of this - that have watched friend after friend after friend have their lives taken by drugs, alcohol, and other things like this. They see the damage, they see the pain caused, they have even seen deaths due to these things. Yet, they continue to try to grow their own root system buried down right in that same dirt. They are still drinking to the point of drunkeness regularly. They are still playing with the drug scene, the girls are still cutting and playing with anorexia. It is like it is a game. It is like they don't realize that their roots are being effected by these things! It's like they have no value on the ONE LIFE THEY HAVE BEEN GIVEN! The bottom line is that it is scary to those of us who care about them. We see them continuing to rest their root system on the edge of the badness, and we see the wind coming. We can even hear it in the neighboring trees! We see our friends struggling to grow more roots, but they are growing them into the wrong things! They have left obstacles in their own way! Why can't they see what we see?
How do we go about continuously growing our own root system, in the healthy soil, so we are not blown away by the winds... and yet, move to help our friends get out of the bad soil? Well.... First, I guess we can't help them out of the bad soil unless we are already on the good ground right? Hmmm.... Anyone have thoughts on these thoughts? Anyone else experiencing similar things?
It's windy outside in southern VA today. VERY windy! The trees and bushes are leaning sideways, my windows are rattling at times. The wind is so strong that once, while standing in the garden section at Lowes today, I thought it was going to knock me over!
As I watch the wind I wonder how deep the roots have to be in order to hold the trees and bushes in the ground. I mean, I know that is the only thing stopping them from flying around my yard... but how deep are they? How deep is "deep enough" for the roots to hold on when the tough winds come? Why do some grow deeper than others? Some grow deeper because they are bigger, and need more roots. But there are times that two bushes of the same kind will grow different depths in their root system. Sometimes things, rocks, concrete, bad dirt, will get in the way of the roots, and therefore will mess up the roots system. As a planter (I am not really, but let's just pretend) I think if I knew that the root system in one location was bad, I would not plant another tree in that area. I would go to good ground and plant my tree there. Wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't want to waste the one little tree that you gave good money for right?
The short version of my application here is that sometimes I think as Christians we start growing roots, but then get distracted by the things around us and just decide "our roots are deep enough." But do we know what depth that our roots will need to be when the winds come? Sometimes, the winds will be only strong enough to make us sway, but sometimes, those tornado style winds will come and ONLY our root system - buried in the Word of God - will be left holding us to the only stability that we have... The Rock of our Salvation. It is then, that we will realize the true depth of our root system. Only then will we know for sure that we went deep enough.
But what about the times that things get in the way of our growth. Sometimes it is choices we make, sometimes it is circumstances out of our control. But regardless, things happen - bad dirt - rocks - other roots - mess up our growth. Some times it is our fault.... Sometimes we see that someone else is buried in bad dirt, and instead of going another direction with our own life, we decide to plant right down beside them. I don't mean we go over to help them get more roots... but we mix our roots right in the middle. THIS is the thing that has been burning in my head for a week.
I have some friends. More than one example of this - that have watched friend after friend after friend have their lives taken by drugs, alcohol, and other things like this. They see the damage, they see the pain caused, they have even seen deaths due to these things. Yet, they continue to try to grow their own root system buried down right in that same dirt. They are still drinking to the point of drunkeness regularly. They are still playing with the drug scene, the girls are still cutting and playing with anorexia. It is like it is a game. It is like they don't realize that their roots are being effected by these things! It's like they have no value on the ONE LIFE THEY HAVE BEEN GIVEN! The bottom line is that it is scary to those of us who care about them. We see them continuing to rest their root system on the edge of the badness, and we see the wind coming. We can even hear it in the neighboring trees! We see our friends struggling to grow more roots, but they are growing them into the wrong things! They have left obstacles in their own way! Why can't they see what we see?
How do we go about continuously growing our own root system, in the healthy soil, so we are not blown away by the winds... and yet, move to help our friends get out of the bad soil? Well.... First, I guess we can't help them out of the bad soil unless we are already on the good ground right? Hmmm.... Anyone have thoughts on these thoughts? Anyone else experiencing similar things?
Monday, March 17, 2008
questions
Why do airlines make it so hard to get the free tickets you promise?
Why do I crave sugar the very DAY I commit to a diet? I mean, I would KILL for an oreo right now.
Why does spring tease us? acting like its coming and then leaving frost on the windshield again?
Why do people not learn from the mistakes of others? I mean, wouldn't we be so much further along if we would realize when someone messes up, that we are vulnerable too? (more thoughts on this when I have time... )
Why does time pass quickly on Saturday and yet putt putt around on Monday?
ok... enough... :)
Have a wonderful Monday.
I have to go exercise now.
Why do I crave sugar the very DAY I commit to a diet? I mean, I would KILL for an oreo right now.
Why does spring tease us? acting like its coming and then leaving frost on the windshield again?
Why do people not learn from the mistakes of others? I mean, wouldn't we be so much further along if we would realize when someone messes up, that we are vulnerable too? (more thoughts on this when I have time... )
Why does time pass quickly on Saturday and yet putt putt around on Monday?
ok... enough... :)
Have a wonderful Monday.
I have to go exercise now.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Starbucks thoughts
Sitting in Starbucks – Its Thursday afternoon and WHOA what a week it has been. Not that there has been a crazy amount of stuff to do, although that is true too. However, it has just been intense stuff that had to be done. But whatever, it is Thursday, and for me – Thursday = Friday for most other people. My work (at least this week) is pretty much done Thursday afternoons.
For the last three weeks I have been teaching at the school that is a part of our church. I was teaching a class on prayer – it is amazing how often that topic has come up in my life lately – hmmm…. Is God telling me something? Maybe – anyway, yeah, I had 7 students, had a great time, learned a lot myself, and only because it met early in the mornings.. which I do not do well, am I glad it is over. Really I will miss it. The kids were great, everyday a bit more fun as the kids relaxed with me, I relaxed with them – I got better at reading their faces, and they looked like they were actually trying to understand me. All in all – I am glad I did it, I hope they had fun too. I think the hardest part for me was giving a GRADE! It helped me to realize the challenges I will face when I start teaching at the college in April – but I think that will be different in that I will be dealing with music in that, not in prayer. I mean, how do you give a grade to a teenager when the topic has been prayer?? I had to give a quiz grade, and a test grade. I made it as simple as I knew how - - and still have a student who is not going to really “pass” the class. But whatever – they had to memorize a Bible verse for the quiz, and the test grade came from a prayer journal that I had them keep over the three weeks of the class…. I wasn’t even grading on content!!! Oh well – I tried.
As far as what I learned? That I do a lot of talking and sometimes don’t do the actions. When you are teaching something that you are struggling with yourself – it is tough! I had to several times admit my lack of faith, lack of believing what God can and will do through me, my lack of discipline to actually talk to him…. I am working on writing all my notes out now – well, at least I will do it soon. Hehehe (procrastinator at heart…. And in real life)
I also played piano for a funeral today. I have done this before, for people that were actually much closer to me personally. However, today, for some reason it really hit me. It was a 46 year old man that had a heart attack back on Monday. He wasn’t in great health, however, this was unexpected. How quickly we can go from happy, life, and all that jazz, to death – but at the same time, to be absent from the body, for me, will be to be present with the Lord. I thought about my husband, my family, my friends. How much I would miss them, but luckily for me, with my husband and my family - - I have to think, that through the sadness, there wil have to be a level of jealousness…. That they are then present with the Lord. Anyway, I am not sure what all thoughts are going through my head at this moment with regard to all of that – only that I am so thankful that I am here, that I have a wonderful husband that loves me, and an awesome family. A mom and dad that have raised me to love the important things, and know my priorities… a brother and sister that although we are all miles apart, love each other dearly and would do anything to help each other out… I just hope I tell you all that I love you often enough!
Well, as I started this telling you, I am blogging from the Starbucks in my city. On a beautiful blue sky day here in southern VA. I see a few wisps of white clouds in the sky, but other than that – it is gorgeous from inside. Outside it is COLD! The wind is horrible! I am all dressed up (from the funeral) and I am sure the people sitting around me think I am typing some official document – or writing a book – or something deep. And part of me wishes I were. However, I am not – I am blogging…. Telling my closest internet friends what is going on in my life – I have been bad at that these last two weeks because of the insanity in life… but now you can see I am trying! While they all think I am too important!
The music is a French sounding mixture. No words, just artsy music playing in the background. Part of me wishes I were in France now. Hmmmm… June of 2004 – Paris France with a school group of Germans. 8 days in the big city. How I learned to love that city so fast. I had heard before that either you will LOVE Paris, or hate it. Well, I loved it. The romance, actually standing under the Eiffel tower, seeing the Moulin Rouge, the Louvre, the Mona Lisa (as simple as she is), the Arc de triumph… in an early summer week, laying on the grass and hearing the students from the school tell us why these places have left their place in history, in German of course – because back then I understood it. Sitting in a café close to Monte Montre just after watched the sun go down over the city while sitting on the steps of Sacre Couer. It was a dream wasn’t it? It feels like it now. But the music I hear brings back these memories. Reminds me of the moments in the sun, the walking down the streets, the smells come back slowly – the French people sitting for hours in the afternoon in the cafes along the street, and smiling at each other because they pass the same way daily. (I could discuss this for a while… how we do that so much in life – go through our motions, see people every day, and never really know who they are - - and therefore never get the chance to share with them our Savior!) The German girls I spent the week with. Its kinda funny, because I was with two girls that whole week. At the beginning of the week I didn’t know either of them. I met them on the train on the way to France. We were with the same group from the same school, however, this was the French class - - I taught English, so I knew the English students, not the French students!!! However, we became friends quickly, I was “officially” a chaperone… that helped them to be able to do more things… However, I felt more like a student in that I was learning SO MUCH that week! The teacher of the class didn’t speak any English, but she wanted me to love Paris like she did. She told me many times how wonderful the city was. Her excitement for the city inspired mine! I was not afraid to venture out in that city, with those girls I barely knew – I sometimes wonder why I get so scared in this small town. That adventure spirit will always be a part of who I am. It seems that those adventures are slowing down in my life right now. However, there are new ones here. There have to be.
Those memories I am sure have begun to fade through time – yet, I hope they never will. I can hardly wait until I go to Europe again. I don’t know how long that will be. Could be years – but I miss it! I miss Germany – the people that I love there… I miss Italy and the week I was there with my German sister… I miss France – and those two girls that I shared one of the top 10 most exciting weeks of my life with!
Ok, well the music just changed, it’s a bit jazzier – don’t worry, I am not going to go into the emotions that brings back. That is for another day.
This blog has been random enough. If you are still with me after my learning, my thoughts about life and death, and my memory lane then you certainly deserve an award… or at least a trip to starbucks - - the birthplace of this post! :)
I do hope you have had a wonderful week.
For the last three weeks I have been teaching at the school that is a part of our church. I was teaching a class on prayer – it is amazing how often that topic has come up in my life lately – hmmm…. Is God telling me something? Maybe – anyway, yeah, I had 7 students, had a great time, learned a lot myself, and only because it met early in the mornings.. which I do not do well, am I glad it is over. Really I will miss it. The kids were great, everyday a bit more fun as the kids relaxed with me, I relaxed with them – I got better at reading their faces, and they looked like they were actually trying to understand me. All in all – I am glad I did it, I hope they had fun too. I think the hardest part for me was giving a GRADE! It helped me to realize the challenges I will face when I start teaching at the college in April – but I think that will be different in that I will be dealing with music in that, not in prayer. I mean, how do you give a grade to a teenager when the topic has been prayer?? I had to give a quiz grade, and a test grade. I made it as simple as I knew how - - and still have a student who is not going to really “pass” the class. But whatever – they had to memorize a Bible verse for the quiz, and the test grade came from a prayer journal that I had them keep over the three weeks of the class…. I wasn’t even grading on content!!! Oh well – I tried.
As far as what I learned? That I do a lot of talking and sometimes don’t do the actions. When you are teaching something that you are struggling with yourself – it is tough! I had to several times admit my lack of faith, lack of believing what God can and will do through me, my lack of discipline to actually talk to him…. I am working on writing all my notes out now – well, at least I will do it soon. Hehehe (procrastinator at heart…. And in real life)
I also played piano for a funeral today. I have done this before, for people that were actually much closer to me personally. However, today, for some reason it really hit me. It was a 46 year old man that had a heart attack back on Monday. He wasn’t in great health, however, this was unexpected. How quickly we can go from happy, life, and all that jazz, to death – but at the same time, to be absent from the body, for me, will be to be present with the Lord. I thought about my husband, my family, my friends. How much I would miss them, but luckily for me, with my husband and my family - - I have to think, that through the sadness, there wil have to be a level of jealousness…. That they are then present with the Lord. Anyway, I am not sure what all thoughts are going through my head at this moment with regard to all of that – only that I am so thankful that I am here, that I have a wonderful husband that loves me, and an awesome family. A mom and dad that have raised me to love the important things, and know my priorities… a brother and sister that although we are all miles apart, love each other dearly and would do anything to help each other out… I just hope I tell you all that I love you often enough!
Well, as I started this telling you, I am blogging from the Starbucks in my city. On a beautiful blue sky day here in southern VA. I see a few wisps of white clouds in the sky, but other than that – it is gorgeous from inside. Outside it is COLD! The wind is horrible! I am all dressed up (from the funeral) and I am sure the people sitting around me think I am typing some official document – or writing a book – or something deep. And part of me wishes I were. However, I am not – I am blogging…. Telling my closest internet friends what is going on in my life – I have been bad at that these last two weeks because of the insanity in life… but now you can see I am trying! While they all think I am too important!
The music is a French sounding mixture. No words, just artsy music playing in the background. Part of me wishes I were in France now. Hmmmm… June of 2004 – Paris France with a school group of Germans. 8 days in the big city. How I learned to love that city so fast. I had heard before that either you will LOVE Paris, or hate it. Well, I loved it. The romance, actually standing under the Eiffel tower, seeing the Moulin Rouge, the Louvre, the Mona Lisa (as simple as she is), the Arc de triumph… in an early summer week, laying on the grass and hearing the students from the school tell us why these places have left their place in history, in German of course – because back then I understood it. Sitting in a café close to Monte Montre just after watched the sun go down over the city while sitting on the steps of Sacre Couer. It was a dream wasn’t it? It feels like it now. But the music I hear brings back these memories. Reminds me of the moments in the sun, the walking down the streets, the smells come back slowly – the French people sitting for hours in the afternoon in the cafes along the street, and smiling at each other because they pass the same way daily. (I could discuss this for a while… how we do that so much in life – go through our motions, see people every day, and never really know who they are - - and therefore never get the chance to share with them our Savior!) The German girls I spent the week with. Its kinda funny, because I was with two girls that whole week. At the beginning of the week I didn’t know either of them. I met them on the train on the way to France. We were with the same group from the same school, however, this was the French class - - I taught English, so I knew the English students, not the French students!!! However, we became friends quickly, I was “officially” a chaperone… that helped them to be able to do more things… However, I felt more like a student in that I was learning SO MUCH that week! The teacher of the class didn’t speak any English, but she wanted me to love Paris like she did. She told me many times how wonderful the city was. Her excitement for the city inspired mine! I was not afraid to venture out in that city, with those girls I barely knew – I sometimes wonder why I get so scared in this small town. That adventure spirit will always be a part of who I am. It seems that those adventures are slowing down in my life right now. However, there are new ones here. There have to be.
Those memories I am sure have begun to fade through time – yet, I hope they never will. I can hardly wait until I go to Europe again. I don’t know how long that will be. Could be years – but I miss it! I miss Germany – the people that I love there… I miss Italy and the week I was there with my German sister… I miss France – and those two girls that I shared one of the top 10 most exciting weeks of my life with!
Ok, well the music just changed, it’s a bit jazzier – don’t worry, I am not going to go into the emotions that brings back. That is for another day.
This blog has been random enough. If you are still with me after my learning, my thoughts about life and death, and my memory lane then you certainly deserve an award… or at least a trip to starbucks - - the birthplace of this post! :)
I do hope you have had a wonderful week.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Snowy Valentines
Well, in southern VA we woke up this morning to a white Valentines day! The only other time in mylife I experienced this was in Germany in 2004. I remember going for a long snowy walk in the woods with my German family that day, and have some great memories even from that one walk! As well as some fun pictures:) I do sometimes miss my "other home" a.k.a. Deutschland. While it was oen of the hardest years of my life, it was also one of the ones with the best memories. Isn't that how life usually is? the really hard things, when you look back at them, are the ones where we learned the most, and in turn enjoyed at least some aspect of it?
So, today, I went for a walk in the woods. My brother said he wanted to see some snow, so I took some pictures. I had Germany flashbacks while Ziba and I explored the white wonderland that is behind my house. I did some thinking while walking, and while I don't want to put you all through the depths of my brain (I don't even know that I understand what all goes on in there sometimes!) I did think a bit on, well, being someone's Valentine. Last year, Ronnie and I were just getting this adventure started - however he sent me a HUGE box to the church I was singing at in Missouri. It was the day that my director realized I wasn't going to be on the road much longer, it was the first time in my life that Valentines day was really something that I thought might not be complete torture (the rest of my life it had pretty much always been Single Awareness Day) -
This morning, I woke up to two little boxes from our local jeweler. Once again, small shiny objects amaze me and make my man stand out in the crowd. I got a necklace and earrings with pearls :) YEA! I realize we are newlyweds and all - but I have to give my man props for that:)
I got him, well, a card, M&Ms and heart shaped pancakes... hmm.. I think I was outdone - luckily, I think we were both ok with that:)
Back to the point, to be his Valentine - to love him more than any other woman on earth, in a way that no other woman could ever love him - to make him feel special every day, not just 2/14 - To be sure that he knows he is my hero and I choose him over everyone else on the planet! - whew - being a valentine has a lot of responsibility - - 365 (366 this year) days a year!... I am not sure how good I do all the time.. but I am trying to learn to be a good Valentine. all the time. because I KNOW I sure am married to a romantic man. :)
So, Happy Valentines to all my "coupled" friends. And Happy Single Awareness to all my "Single" friends - please know that you too are loved!!!
Most of all - Happy Valentine's Day to my Valentine :) I love you sweetie.
** edited** As I arrived to pick up my Valentine for our very romantic meeting with the CPA for our taxes today, My man got in the car with some red tulips, a sweet card, and a bar of Toblerone (possibly the BEST chocolate in the world!) What a man What a man What a might fine man!!!
So, today, I went for a walk in the woods. My brother said he wanted to see some snow, so I took some pictures. I had Germany flashbacks while Ziba and I explored the white wonderland that is behind my house. I did some thinking while walking, and while I don't want to put you all through the depths of my brain (I don't even know that I understand what all goes on in there sometimes!) I did think a bit on, well, being someone's Valentine. Last year, Ronnie and I were just getting this adventure started - however he sent me a HUGE box to the church I was singing at in Missouri. It was the day that my director realized I wasn't going to be on the road much longer, it was the first time in my life that Valentines day was really something that I thought might not be complete torture (the rest of my life it had pretty much always been Single Awareness Day) -
This morning, I woke up to two little boxes from our local jeweler. Once again, small shiny objects amaze me and make my man stand out in the crowd. I got a necklace and earrings with pearls :) YEA! I realize we are newlyweds and all - but I have to give my man props for that:)
I got him, well, a card, M&Ms and heart shaped pancakes... hmm.. I think I was outdone - luckily, I think we were both ok with that:)
Back to the point, to be his Valentine - to love him more than any other woman on earth, in a way that no other woman could ever love him - to make him feel special every day, not just 2/14 - To be sure that he knows he is my hero and I choose him over everyone else on the planet! - whew - being a valentine has a lot of responsibility - - 365 (366 this year) days a year!... I am not sure how good I do all the time.. but I am trying to learn to be a good Valentine. all the time. because I KNOW I sure am married to a romantic man. :)
So, Happy Valentines to all my "coupled" friends. And Happy Single Awareness to all my "Single" friends - please know that you too are loved!!!
Most of all - Happy Valentine's Day to my Valentine :) I love you sweetie.
** edited** As I arrived to pick up my Valentine for our very romantic meeting with the CPA for our taxes today, My man got in the car with some red tulips, a sweet card, and a bar of Toblerone (possibly the BEST chocolate in the world!) What a man What a man What a might fine man!!!
Friday, February 1, 2008
Moving on
Well, yesterday was tough. I seem to have this trend going these days.... sorry.
Last night though, I had practice at church with the Sunday morning band. I almost skipped it. I felt so bad by the time I got there I wanted to throw up. I couldn't find any one reason that I felt that bad - I think the emotions of the last two weeks all built up and I had been alone most of the day so it had all festered inside of me till I just about made myself sick. Not just the fact that people were laughing at me - but still the death of a friend last week, my brother learning about that and knowing he had to deal with that alone, and a few other things that I haven't blogged about because either they are too personal, or they are too long of a story! Anyway - bottom line is that by last night, I was done - I just wanted to go home and cry for a while.... I almost called and said I couldn't practice. It was the first week I was not going to be responsible for the rehearsal in a month, and I just didn't want to be there.
However, the "never quit" mentality that is somehow deep down inside of me pushed me into practice. Our first song was an older Darlene Szchech (sp?) song... the chorus is something like this - "You are my shield, my strength, my portion, deliverer, my shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need." WHOA! How great is that? I almost started crying while I was singing it - thankfully, this is not my week to be singing in a mic (doesn't mean I won't sing... just that we have so many altos, I don't get a mic this week... which is fine with me) so the shaky voice that came out as I started singing didn't draw attention from the rest of the band. So now, that is my claim. He is my shield - from the people around me that seem to have two faces right now... He is my strength - to get through the tough times... He is my portion, all that I need - He is my deliverer, from the days that I just don't want to face.... He is my shelter - to protect me from the storms... My strong tower, in Him alone can I hide... my very present help in time of need.
I know that the stresses I have right now are nothign compared to what I know some of my friends are facing. And at times, that makes me think that I don't need to even feel bad about this.. I mean after all, it was JUST someone laughing at me - and in the scheme of things... it just doesn't matter in light of eternity... I know that some of my readers are dealing with REAL stuff - deaths, diseases, etc. etc. - So, I want to quit complaining and simply say that I am putting my trust back in Him alone. Not in myself, or my job, or anything else around me. I am also re-focusing on my reason for doing the things I do. It DEFINATELY isn't the money, or the respect, or even the fulfillment that I want. I simply want to do what I am called to do. I will never make lots of money doing ministry. I cannot rely on the people I am working with to provide me with fulfillment - that can only come from Christ as well.
So, thats me - moving on... emotionally - but not physically right now. Gonna go right back in there and keep on doing what I am supposed to be doing. I do appreciate you guys for praying for me.
Thanks.... :)
Last night though, I had practice at church with the Sunday morning band. I almost skipped it. I felt so bad by the time I got there I wanted to throw up. I couldn't find any one reason that I felt that bad - I think the emotions of the last two weeks all built up and I had been alone most of the day so it had all festered inside of me till I just about made myself sick. Not just the fact that people were laughing at me - but still the death of a friend last week, my brother learning about that and knowing he had to deal with that alone, and a few other things that I haven't blogged about because either they are too personal, or they are too long of a story! Anyway - bottom line is that by last night, I was done - I just wanted to go home and cry for a while.... I almost called and said I couldn't practice. It was the first week I was not going to be responsible for the rehearsal in a month, and I just didn't want to be there.
However, the "never quit" mentality that is somehow deep down inside of me pushed me into practice. Our first song was an older Darlene Szchech (sp?) song... the chorus is something like this - "You are my shield, my strength, my portion, deliverer, my shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need." WHOA! How great is that? I almost started crying while I was singing it - thankfully, this is not my week to be singing in a mic (doesn't mean I won't sing... just that we have so many altos, I don't get a mic this week... which is fine with me) so the shaky voice that came out as I started singing didn't draw attention from the rest of the band. So now, that is my claim. He is my shield - from the people around me that seem to have two faces right now... He is my strength - to get through the tough times... He is my portion, all that I need - He is my deliverer, from the days that I just don't want to face.... He is my shelter - to protect me from the storms... My strong tower, in Him alone can I hide... my very present help in time of need.
I know that the stresses I have right now are nothign compared to what I know some of my friends are facing. And at times, that makes me think that I don't need to even feel bad about this.. I mean after all, it was JUST someone laughing at me - and in the scheme of things... it just doesn't matter in light of eternity... I know that some of my readers are dealing with REAL stuff - deaths, diseases, etc. etc. - So, I want to quit complaining and simply say that I am putting my trust back in Him alone. Not in myself, or my job, or anything else around me. I am also re-focusing on my reason for doing the things I do. It DEFINATELY isn't the money, or the respect, or even the fulfillment that I want. I simply want to do what I am called to do. I will never make lots of money doing ministry. I cannot rely on the people I am working with to provide me with fulfillment - that can only come from Christ as well.
So, thats me - moving on... emotionally - but not physically right now. Gonna go right back in there and keep on doing what I am supposed to be doing. I do appreciate you guys for praying for me.
Thanks.... :)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Not much bloggin' time today
But I found a quote althought I am not sure who gets thte credit for it- - - but, I leave you with this thought....
Far better is it to dare mighty things than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat......
What mighty things have you dared today?
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