Monday, June 28, 2010

he's coming

little baby Mayhew is on the way - due date is Saturday.... we are (not so) patiently waiting. For now, we are waiting for God and the baby to choose his birthday!

I haven't blogged in a while...

Here is what is in my thought process for the arrival of this child:
- I am nervous about the birth. So many unknowns
- I am also excited about seeing his little face
- I am nervous about being responsible for his life
- Ronnie and I sometimes walk by his room and wonder why we have it all decorated
- We sometimes feel overwhelmed already!
- The miracle of the tiny feet that kick my ribs, jar my spine, and punch my kidneys regularly is already amazing to me.
- Can this really be my child?

And here is what I want Little J to know:

Precious son of mine,

You are a treasure. The day your dad and I found out you were on the way was a surprise. You see, you already have a sibling in heaven. We knew we wanted you, but we weren't sure if it was time yet. We had been praying that we would be able to meet you one day - but we were also praying that you would not come until it was the right time.

I didn't even tell dad I was going to take the test that Sunday morning. So, he was surprised when I woke him up with "Ummm... I think there are two lines....." He responded with "huh?" I said "I think I am pregnant - come look!"

We both stared and stared at that little test waiting for more confirmation - but it was still fuzzy.

We went to church. I remember singing a song that morning that had been sung the Sunday after we found out our last child was not going to live. The line that rung in my head was "You give and Take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name." I knew immediately, even though the line was fuzzy at home on the test, that you were the gift. I also know that we would consistently say blessed be your name.

We told all of your grandparents that week, I called and told Jenifer and Brantley, and then, I had to wait to talk to JonJon. He was in Afghanistan.

We were so excited, we could barely wait to tell the world!

We saw you first on an ultrasound in November. You were jumping around. I really think you were excited to be seen... Your dad and I both cried to see you moving so much!

It was February that we found out you were a boy. I really think I knew the whole time. We had not even chosen a girl name. We were so excited to hear the ultrasound tech say "It's a boy!" We saw your face for the first time that day. You have already changed a lot - but I loved you immediately.

Your last two ultrasounds have been fun for us as we could see portions of your face. You keep part of it a secret with your arms. The priceless part to me, is that you are already making motions with your hands that are like pictures of your dad when he was a baby. You prop your right hand just above your eye, as if you are thinking.

The nurses and doctors tell us each time that you will be slowing down your movements as you get ready to be born... So far, you haven't slowed down one bit!

Here we are, about 5 days from your due date. I don't know what date you will choose to be your birthday. Many people are pulling for July 4. I think that would be nice, but I am really not going to be picky about this decision. I want you to be as healthy as possible. I know that there will even be days when I miss your little kicks to my ribs. I do look forward to seeing your face. and watching your motions. You consistently have one leg that is sticking out to my right side. It looks funny to me. I am sure you will be propping that leg up on everything you can see when you get out.

Dad and I are so ready to meet you. We are so excited to have you as the next part of our family. We are a little nervous about being parents - so be patient with us. We haven't done this before. We know that you are our gift, our treasure, and we promise to do everything we can to be sure you know that you are loved deeply, by us and by your Creator. We want you to know that God loves you even more than you will ever understand. He gave you to us to take care of for a while. We promise to do our best.