Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Without the blood, there can be no life.

I will start by stating the facts, and then will go on. 

It is really hard to put into words the weight of the day. 

My baby is no longer alive. 

Those words echo in my heart. 

Upon first view of the sonogram today, Ronnie and I were not convinced that the Doctor was sure of what they were saying. Until they turned on a color sensor, that shows where the bloodflow is. You could see all around the child, that there was bloodflow..... however, there was none going to the baby. It was at this moment, that we realized those words not only impact our eternal situation.... but in this life as well, without the blood, there can be no life. Our child passed away sometime about 4 weeks ago. 

That is enough of the technical stuff. Our hearts hurt tonight. I have no symptoms yet of a miscarriage outside of knowing what the sonogram showed us all too clearly. I am sure that will come in its own time. 

Ronnie and I have no choice but to stand together at this point and thank God for the opportunity to have been pregnant.... for I know there are many that have not felt that joy.... we thank God for the knowledge that He is taking care of our precious child in His Heaven even now.... and We thank God for each of you that have been praying, and we trust will continue to pray for us as we go through this process. 

"I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day." 2 Timothy 1:12


33 comments:

Anonymous said...

We love you guys and I have not stopped thinking about you and praying. I pray now that this will strengthen your marriage even more as you rely on each other through this loss. God is so much bigger than all of this and i know that you know that but even when i write that my heart is hurting for you my friend!!! I am truly sad!

Nicole

DeeDee said...

love you both so much.

His Grace is sufficient.

Hurting with you.

love,
MOM

Anonymous said...

Julia and Ronnie.....I'm very sad for you both. However, I know that you both have a strong faith and He will be your strength and guide you through this. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. With love, Patrick.

Julie Tiemann said...

Oh Julia, I'm so impressed by your eternal perspective in the midst of your pain. But I can tell your heart is broken. We will continue to pray... Love you.

CS said...

I am so sorry. When Michaela was about 13 months old, I became pregnant with our 3rd child. I was sicker than I had been with the previous two pregnancies. I had a dating ultrasound at about 7 weeks. At about 10 weeks, we did another ultrasound - just to look. We did not detect any fetal movement. Sometime about 8 weeks, our baby had died. I continued to be ill, so we decided to do a chemical D&C. I really wish I had waited for nature to take its course or had a surgical D&C. The bleeding was pretty bad. Its bad enough to lose the baby, but continued morning sickness is just not fair. You and Ronnie are in our prayers.

Our Four Sons said...

My heart aches with yours as you walk through this time. I am glad that your faithfulness continues and am assured that we serve a merciful and loving God. He will walk with you, guide you, and hold you. My prayers continue to be with you both.

Mandie

Mitzi said...

Know that you and Ronnie are in our prayers. Your mom put it best. His grace IS sufficient!

Latte With Me said...

I've been thinking of y'all since I read your last post. My heart goes out to all of you. I'm sorry for your loss.

Good to be a Queen said...

Your strength is amazing, y'all are an amazing couple and god will supply. My daughter and son-in-law have struggled with infertility and heart ache for 9 years. You are in my thoughts and prayers...

JustJessie said...

I'm sorry Julia... Love you and praying for peace... I don't know what else to say...

Ann Davis said...

Julia,
I am sorry for your loss. You may not remember me but I just wanted to let you know that your sharing on your blog has blessed my soul. While my child Lizann was on this earth I was not where I needed to be in my walk with God. I regret my lack of faith, my anger and my selfishness. Your strength and your faith in God's plan is inspiring. Thank you for sharing a most intimate subject.
Your old neighbor,
Ann Davis

Hal said...

Dear Ronnie and my Punkin, My heart hurts for you both. Punkin for your pain and Ronnie not only for the pain at the death of this child but the hurt I know you have because you want to fix fix this for Julia but you can't. But the fact that you want to is enough. Hold her and it will be enough. My favorite word in scripture is GRACE. That is all any of us need because we don't deserve it.

I love you both,

Daddy

Shannon Sisco said...

There are no words to say, but you and Ronnie are in my prayers.

Shannon

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

So so sorry...and praying God's comfort and sufficient grace for you...

Anonymous said...

teary face and achy heart for you tonight. So sorry for this loss. I will be praying...
Meredith Miller

Angela said...

I've been thinking and praying for you since I read your post last week. I thought about you A LOT yesterday. God kept calling you to my mind.

I too went through the same ultra sound experience and being the exact same week of pregnancy as you did, with my child the same gestation period showing on the ultra sound.

(((hugs)))

God does bring healing in the midst of all of this. Your post is evident that He is DOING just that. Let the tears continue to flow....God is there to wipe them beloved one.

Cricket said...

I came to your sight from Beth's "At his Feet"...I am so sorry to hear of the news...God has a plan...keep believing and praying. A former pastor and his wife have a beautiful 4 or 5 year old daughter that for several ultrasounds showed she was not alive...

Don't give up...all things are for God's Glory...

God Bless You
Tessa

Just Me'n Mine said...

Sweet JuJu! We love you so much. We will continue to pray for you and Ronnie, and continue to trust the Lord.

Anonymous said...

Julia,

I've been praying for you and your family, and will continue to do so. Storms in life don't make much sense this side of heaven. May you continue to feel the shelter of the One who is in the boat with you, The Calmer of the Storm.

Laurie Ann said...

I am just so sorry. It's so hard. May God be with you and wrap His loving arms around you as you go through this.

LisaShaw said...

I came over from your Mom's blog whom I found via Beth: An Instrument 4 His glory and I just want to say my heart is with you both.

You have an amazing faith and my prayers and love are with you. I'm deeply sorry. May God's grace saturate you both and your family at this time.

Krista said...

Julia and Ronnie,
I am so very sorry for your loss.

Tricia said...

Julie and Ronnie,
I am so very sorry for your loss, I can not begin to imagine what you are feeling or experiencing... but I am praying for you to a God who does, and I pray that the God of ALL comforts will comfort you as only He can. As others have said, He is faithful and His grace is sufficient...

Thank you for sharing and allowing us to pray with and for you...

Blessings and prayers...

Linda said...

Julia and Ron, My heart is sad for you and the loss of your baby. I am amazed at the spiritual lessons you are teaching us here with your post,..."Without the blood, there can be no life".

Your faith is an inspiration. I am praying for you and for DeeDee and Hal and the rest of the family. I know they are all hurting today along with you.

God loves you and His grace is sufficient dear ones. Rest in His arms. May He comfort your hearts.

Linda @ Truthful Tidbits

Jamie said...

I am sorry for your loss. I know how hard this can be, not from personal experience, but from my sister's experience. Praying for you.

Jamie

Anna said...

Much love and prayers sweet Julia! anna

Toni Smith said...

God is always in control!

Tami said...

i am so sorry. i too know the pain of miscarriage and i too know that my babies are with Jesus and in a short while i will be reunited with them and you with your sweet one. blessings.

Gail Kemp said...

I'm still praying for you and crying with you. Your precious family is always on my heart. Your adorable mother is so strong, and you are so much like her.

I know the pain of miscarriage. Mine was sudden, and I wasn't ready for it. However, I already had one child and figured that God knew what he was doing. For you I hope it happens soon and is as painless as possible. For me it was like a very very bad period. The emotional paid was worse, but knowing God was in it, and being able to feel the peace that only HE can give, made it a lot easier.
I wonder if my unborn child was a boy? My son (oh my - don't recall ever using that phrase before...) - my son (or daughter) and I will meet at the appropriate time.

Julia, God bless you and your husband and your family. Praises to God for sending ya'll our way. :)

Son, Brother, Fiancee, Friend, Soldier said...

Hey julia,
I love you and your husband. I'm sorry to hear this but we will still praise Him. I miss yall and will see ya'll again, I love you.

Later

Pia said...

the pain of losing a baby is overwhelming. know that God knows your pain. prayed for you... (((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, Julia and Ronnie. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Crystal

Stephanie said...

Oh, Julia! I feel so ridiculously insensitive. I was reading your posts in reverse order and just saw this. So sorry for your loss and your pain. Just sent a prayer up for you.

stephanie@metropolitanmama.net