Monday, March 17, 2008

A man in the bathroom

I really hate to tell this story, but since 5 minutes after it happened, I was thinking "WHOA that wil be a funny blog," I guess I have to right?

Today I was supposed to have a lunch meeting with some ladies, but this was my first time to have this lunch meeting. I have this thing, where I don't like to go somewhere for the first time and have to walk in and first thing - go to the bathroom. So, usually, if I feel the urge, I will stop somewhere else and go potty and then go on to my commitment location. Today was one of those days. Since I am drinking a RIDICULOUS amount of water because of the new diet I started today... that makes me crave chocolate... and yellow marshmallow bunnies... and ice cream... ummm... what was I talking about?? Oh yeah.

I stopped at the Burger King next door to my final location to go use the restroom.

Walk in to the restroom and its one of those "one-holers." But it is one of the ones with the stall around the pot where someone can come in and go to the sink or whatever while ya wait on the potty. Well, a lady was in the stall. So, I waited.

I looked in the mirror.

Fixed my hair.

Tried to make some noise with my keys so she would know I was waiting.

Waited.

Heard her zip.

Then.... nothing.

No movement.

I wanted to look up and see what was going on, but I was afraid of what I would see.

I hear a cell phone dial.

Then....

"Umm, call the police and have the cops come in here. There is a man in the ladies bathroom."

I was thinking "WHAT? In her stall?? She just went to the potty and NOW she is phoning out for help with a man in her stall?"

I kept standing there.

I contemplated leaving and going to another place. But I really didn't have time. And since I wasn't eating at the BK, I decided to not walk out to the dining area and come back in later.

So, I just stood there.

I glanced up towards the stall and see someone peering out at me. Was she talking TO me? Was she telling me there was a man in there? I thought she was on her cell phone!

I hear the cell phone dialing again.

"Did you call the cops? oh, well, I think it is a woman, so never mind.... What? They are on the way already? Oh Ok... Well we will just tell them it was a mistake. I think it's a woman."

I am still wondering who is in the stall with this woman. (I know, I am slow)

Finally, she opens the door, looks me in the eye and says. "Sorry I took so long. I thought you were a man!"

A MAN!!!!!

I just ducked my head and went to the bathroom. What do you say to that?

First of all, I had on khacki pants and a green collared quarter-length sleeve FITTED shirt. I was wearing my dark brown (very cute) GIRLIE shoes.

Second, who looks out through the cracks in the bathroom stall to see who is waiting on the potty? I mean, I would have NEVER even done that! I just walk out and wash my hands!

Third, if I HAD been a man, it would have most likely been an accident, and therefore required NO POLICE!

Anyway, I went to the bathroom quickly because the conversation sounded like the police were coming and honestly, I didn't want to deal with them asking me whether or not I was a man or a woman.

I might, or might not ever get over that.

So, I got to my car, passed the ladies waiting on the sidewalk (It was the lady from the bathroom and I guess the woman on the other end of the phone?? Not sure about that). They were waiting on the police I guess.

I left, and as I pulled into the parking lot of the place where I was supposed to be meeting my friends, I see the flashing lights of the police cars pulling into the BK parking lot.

I went inside quickly:)

So, now I am not sure about this diet, maybe I should NOT diet and put on some more weight so there are more curves or something... I mean, I thought I was CUTE today, not MANLY! Yeah, the pants were cargo pants, from Aeropostale, but they are GIRL pants. I have a waist! I am even wearing my princess socks!! (yes, I have them) I AM A GIRL!

Talk about confidence busters... I need to go paint my nails or something...

6 comments:

Leigh710 said...

Wow! Maybe she's legally blind? It's kind of funny, especially because you look nothing like a man!

Tricia said...

That is hilarious!! Thanks for sharing your embarrassing moment!

Anonymous said...

WOW!!!!!! is all i can say about that story...sounds like the women was a NUT CASE!!! That is too funny that you stood there not sure who she was even talking about!!! That is so crazy and so funny!! Dont worry i bet your hunni thinks you look very cute!!

Nicole

Anonymous said...

Thats one of those things you dont tell anyone and especially don't put it on the internet. Because that is freakin hilarious I think I have a small wet spot in my pants from the laughter.

justjessie said...

Ouch. I think the lady must have left her contacts at home or something. You're a beautiful lady, fingernail polish or no. Sheesh, there are some stoopid people in the world.

Son, Brother, Fiancee, Friend, Soldier said...

I don't think you look like a man. I think that woman was just paranoid!! but that was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love ya big sis.
Jonathan