Well, here is post 99 - I think that means my next post has to be the 100 things... 100 things about me that you really don't wnt to know... i am not sure that there are 100 things that I haven't already shared - But i will try with all my might.
Tonight is my first Tupperware party... kinda nervous, kinda excited, kinda ready to just be GOING! Nicole is my host - and she has been wonderful so far.. Thanks girl! She sells stuff too, so she has already gone thru this "first party" junk... (she doesn't sell Tupperware tho... something else)
Before I get into the "meat" of my post - I encourage you to go here and read a story of how a guy really took Jesus serious in his "Good Samaritan" parable... EVEN in 2008, EVEN in NY, EVEN in the Bronx... Makes me think.
Pray for me and my family - we are trying to keep our head out of the land of "what if" as my mom alluded to here. Its been a few days since we heard anything from Jon... so close to the end, it just weighs a lot on our shoulders right now. Honestly, it is one of those things that we should be sharing the load with our Savior, and I know He wants to help carry my load - its just hard to actually share the weight.
Someone asked me the other day what the impact of having my brother in Iraq has been on me. The truthful answer is that any words I try to put to it, really does not do it justice. It has impacted every area of my life. On the negative side, the tears have flowed more freely, especially when songs come on that refer to kids playing and such... mainly because those are some of the memories I treasure most of my family. It has impacted my marriage. My husband has dealt with me having more homesickness than I have ever had before because of my brother. There is a feeling that I need to be there to help hold up my parents through this - which has made these last months even longer. On the positive side - my prayer life is probably stronger now - if for no other reason, anytime I wake up at night, or have a moment when my brain quits thinking about anything else, I pray for the physical, emotional, and spiritual protection of my brother.
That paragraph can give you a small picture of the emotions that are rampant in my heart. I cannot put in words the total impact on my life. I respect my brother, and see him as a hero for us, and for you. I am proud of him - I love him - I miss him.
It is heavy. I am trying to "cast my cares" - and give Him some of my burden because "His burden is light." I am trying to keep taking steps forward... I am trying to be excited about Tupperware. But sometimes its just heavy. I can't explain why now more than the last few days. but it is.
Anyway - sorry if this was a darker post than what you were hoping for... We do appreciate your prayers for the safety of my brother.
Look for my "100 things" soon.