Thursday, February 28, 2008

Starbucks thoughts

Sitting in Starbucks – Its Thursday afternoon and WHOA what a week it has been. Not that there has been a crazy amount of stuff to do, although that is true too. However, it has just been intense stuff that had to be done. But whatever, it is Thursday, and for me – Thursday = Friday for most other people. My work (at least this week) is pretty much done Thursday afternoons.

For the last three weeks I have been teaching at the school that is a part of our church. I was teaching a class on prayer – it is amazing how often that topic has come up in my life lately – hmmm…. Is God telling me something? Maybe – anyway, yeah, I had 7 students, had a great time, learned a lot myself, and only because it met early in the mornings.. which I do not do well, am I glad it is over. Really I will miss it. The kids were great, everyday a bit more fun as the kids relaxed with me, I relaxed with them – I got better at reading their faces, and they looked like they were actually trying to understand me. All in all – I am glad I did it, I hope they had fun too. I think the hardest part for me was giving a GRADE! It helped me to realize the challenges I will face when I start teaching at the college in April – but I think that will be different in that I will be dealing with music in that, not in prayer. I mean, how do you give a grade to a teenager when the topic has been prayer?? I had to give a quiz grade, and a test grade. I made it as simple as I knew how - - and still have a student who is not going to really “pass” the class. But whatever – they had to memorize a Bible verse for the quiz, and the test grade came from a prayer journal that I had them keep over the three weeks of the class…. I wasn’t even grading on content!!! Oh well – I tried.

As far as what I learned? That I do a lot of talking and sometimes don’t do the actions. When you are teaching something that you are struggling with yourself – it is tough! I had to several times admit my lack of faith, lack of believing what God can and will do through me, my lack of discipline to actually talk to him…. I am working on writing all my notes out now – well, at least I will do it soon. Hehehe (procrastinator at heart…. And in real life)

I also played piano for a funeral today. I have done this before, for people that were actually much closer to me personally. However, today, for some reason it really hit me. It was a 46 year old man that had a heart attack back on Monday. He wasn’t in great health, however, this was unexpected. How quickly we can go from happy, life, and all that jazz, to death – but at the same time, to be absent from the body, for me, will be to be present with the Lord. I thought about my husband, my family, my friends. How much I would miss them, but luckily for me, with my husband and my family - - I have to think, that through the sadness, there wil have to be a level of jealousness…. That they are then present with the Lord. Anyway, I am not sure what all thoughts are going through my head at this moment with regard to all of that – only that I am so thankful that I am here, that I have a wonderful husband that loves me, and an awesome family. A mom and dad that have raised me to love the important things, and know my priorities… a brother and sister that although we are all miles apart, love each other dearly and would do anything to help each other out… I just hope I tell you all that I love you often enough!

Well, as I started this telling you, I am blogging from the Starbucks in my city. On a beautiful blue sky day here in southern VA. I see a few wisps of white clouds in the sky, but other than that – it is gorgeous from inside. Outside it is COLD! The wind is horrible! I am all dressed up (from the funeral) and I am sure the people sitting around me think I am typing some official document – or writing a book – or something deep. And part of me wishes I were. However, I am not – I am blogging…. Telling my closest internet friends what is going on in my life – I have been bad at that these last two weeks because of the insanity in life… but now you can see I am trying! While they all think I am too important!

The music is a French sounding mixture. No words, just artsy music playing in the background. Part of me wishes I were in France now. Hmmmm… June of 2004 – Paris France with a school group of Germans. 8 days in the big city. How I learned to love that city so fast. I had heard before that either you will LOVE Paris, or hate it. Well, I loved it. The romance, actually standing under the Eiffel tower, seeing the Moulin Rouge, the Louvre, the Mona Lisa (as simple as she is), the Arc de triumph… in an early summer week, laying on the grass and hearing the students from the school tell us why these places have left their place in history, in German of course – because back then I understood it. Sitting in a café close to Monte Montre just after watched the sun go down over the city while sitting on the steps of Sacre Couer. It was a dream wasn’t it? It feels like it now. But the music I hear brings back these memories. Reminds me of the moments in the sun, the walking down the streets, the smells come back slowly – the French people sitting for hours in the afternoon in the cafes along the street, and smiling at each other because they pass the same way daily. (I could discuss this for a while… how we do that so much in life – go through our motions, see people every day, and never really know who they are - - and therefore never get the chance to share with them our Savior!) The German girls I spent the week with. Its kinda funny, because I was with two girls that whole week. At the beginning of the week I didn’t know either of them. I met them on the train on the way to France. We were with the same group from the same school, however, this was the French class - - I taught English, so I knew the English students, not the French students!!! However, we became friends quickly, I was “officially” a chaperone… that helped them to be able to do more things… However, I felt more like a student in that I was learning SO MUCH that week! The teacher of the class didn’t speak any English, but she wanted me to love Paris like she did. She told me many times how wonderful the city was. Her excitement for the city inspired mine! I was not afraid to venture out in that city, with those girls I barely knew – I sometimes wonder why I get so scared in this small town. That adventure spirit will always be a part of who I am. It seems that those adventures are slowing down in my life right now. However, there are new ones here. There have to be.

Those memories I am sure have begun to fade through time – yet, I hope they never will. I can hardly wait until I go to Europe again. I don’t know how long that will be. Could be years – but I miss it! I miss Germany – the people that I love there… I miss Italy and the week I was there with my German sister… I miss France – and those two girls that I shared one of the top 10 most exciting weeks of my life with!

Ok, well the music just changed, it’s a bit jazzier – don’t worry, I am not going to go into the emotions that brings back. That is for another day.

This blog has been random enough. If you are still with me after my learning, my thoughts about life and death, and my memory lane then you certainly deserve an award… or at least a trip to starbucks - - the birthplace of this post! :)

I do hope you have had a wonderful week.

1 comment:

Son, Brother, Fiancee, Friend, Soldier said...

Deal I'll let you take me to starbucks!because I stayed with you through the entire post!!! So you owe me a starbucks! you said it yourself~! Anyway thanks for the blog! It keeps me in touch with what is going on back home! I love you sis.